Courtesy of Andy Murphy and Kim Thomson
By Jean Murphy
Daily Herald correspondent — April 12, 2020
When my son and his girlfriend got engaged during a New Year’s trip to New Orleans 15 months ago, it never occurred to any of us that a pandemic would hit the entire world and threaten the ceremony and party they long dreamed of and planned.
These 31-year-old city residents, who grew up in Mount Prospect and Des Plaines, respectively, are due to be married at Galleria Marchetti in Chicago on June 27. The rehearsal dinner is set for the Chicago Firehouse Restaurant in the South Loop on the evening prior, and a welcome party afterward for the wedding party and out-of-town guests is set for the Near North hotel where everyone will be staying.
The maternal grandparents of the groom also married in stressful times. Andy Murphy’s grandfather was a submarine officer in the Pacific in early 1945. Engaged to a young woman in Ohio, he sent a cable to her (in code) to say he would be there in two weeks and to go ahead and plan a wedding. She bought a dress off the rack and gathered butter and sugar ration coupons from neighbors to have a cake made. Courtesy of the Murphy family
The band, florist and photographer have been paid deposits and the venue has received two large installments of its fee. The wedding dress has been chosen and made, as have the bridesmaid dresses. The tux measurements have been taken and honeymoon reservations for Spain are set. Many out-of-town guests have made their plane and hotel reservations for the big day.
Then this insidious disease struck and now all of us hold our collective breaths. Two showers were planned for late March and late April and both will be rescheduled. The bachelor party was supposed to be at Arlington Park, followed by Rivers Casino in late May. But now Arlington Park is closed until June 1 and no one yet knows when Rivers will reopen. As for the bachelorette party, they are still hoping for a late May girls’ weekend in a downtown hotel and a show.
A food tasting at the venue has been postponed, as has the final design meeting with the decorator/florist. But hopefully both will happen in early May. As for the cake tasting, that was converted into a “deconstructed take out” and the bride and groom-to-be tasted the cakes and filling combinations alone in their condo in late March.
Andy Murphy, originally from Mount Prospect, tries on a tux jacket for his June wedding in Chicago — a wedding that might have to be quickly rescheduled in the fall because of the coronavirus pandemic. Courtesy of Kim Thomson
Fortunately, both the mother of the bride and I have already chosen our dresses, but mine needs to be shortened and I am afraid to ask any tailor to do the job because no one wants to breathe on anyone else. The bride’s dress also needs those last-minute alterations.
The stress on all of us as we watch these daily briefings from the White House is incredible. Is a June 27 wedding doable?
My son, Andy Murphy, and his fiancé, Kim Thomson, have received notes from their photographer and florist, saying their deposits can be put toward a later date if the wedding needs to be rescheduled. But there has been no word from the band they are so excited to have, and the venue has said it will apply the deposit to another date if they are forced to remain closed. But if things are opened up at the last minute and people can’t scramble that fast, who knows?
Recently, Andy and Kim finally went ahead and ordered their invitations because the clock is ticking. But they also decided to do a page on the Zola website to announce any last-minute details, in case things must change, and that web address is noted on their invitations.
“We originally weren’t going to do a wedding website, but under the circumstances, we now feel that it is needed,” Andy explained. “In fact, it was the website that made us comfortable about ordering the invitations, which they tell us somehow take five weeks to print.”
But the really difficult part is that all assumptions about the immediate future have gone out the window. The Olympics have been postponed. Wimbledon has been canceled. Church services are being held online. The list goes on and on. But what does a family do about an imminent wedding?
Andy and Kim are not the only ones in this miserable predicament. Their close friends are scheduled to be married in Ohio two weeks before them and Kim’s co-worker’s nuptials are June 20, also in Chicago. All of these young people and their families are in an exceedingly difficult spot.
Their plight is different, of course, but reminiscent of my own parents’ wedding situation. They got married at the height of World War II when my father’s submarine put into port in California for repairs. With very little warning, he sent a telegram to his fiancé (my mother) saying he would be at her Ohio home in two weeks and that she should plan a wedding.
That story has always fascinated me. It seems Kim and Andy may now have a crazy wedding story of their own to tell.
“I go back and forth between being sad and accepting it. But at the end of the day, we just have to do what’s best for everyone,” Kim told me.
“It’s stressful, but nothing compared to what first responders, health care professionals and coronavirus patients are experiencing,” Andy said. “If we have to reschedule, we’ll reschedule.”
So, we wait to see what happens in April. “If the stay-at-home order is extended into May, we will ask the venue to book a backup date,” Andy said. “But for now, we don’t want to take those dates away from couples who already know their April or early May weddings need to be rescheduled.”
In the event June 27 is eventually deemed “undoable” by the powers in Washington and Springfield who could extend the “stay-at-home” order, or even continue a limit on large social gatherings, the couple will have to go to Plan B. They’ll select whatever Friday or Saturday they can get in the fall. At this point, they are unwilling to entertain another day of the week.
But, as Jeri Thomson, Mount Prospect resident and mother of the bride, recently said: “A wedding is about family and friends coming together to celebrate a joyful occasion. Our biggest concern right now is to keep everyone healthy so we can make this happen.”
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